His entire family has disowned me and they're all blocked on my phone after sending me awful messages. NTA, that's not typical "men stuff", your dad, uncle, brother and cousin are bullies. Like men! They need to fuck all the way off. They are treating him like garbage. They dont like Tim. People really act like this? Wow :/, honestly OP is the asshole, for being too soft with her parents and allowing this shit to happen, This is exactly what I came here to say. They refuse to even apologize for trying to kill your fiance. NTA. My asthma is not that severe but Ive been there I really needed the inhaler. At same time, I'm sorry Op, if I was Tim, I might rethink about marriage to your family, your family is asshole. Cut her some slack. Life saving medication! Will they get the same abuse? They dont need to be all macho and emotionally stunted like your dad and family seem to be. Luckily, you can and should choose your family. The only third option is that you stop this dangerous behavior. Definitely NTA. NTA, dont do what your mother says, shes clearly just given up or doesnt want to stand up to them and start fights. Create this boundary now. I would keep my future kids the fuck away from those toxic assholes. I'm really scared that your family will accidentally kill someone with this mentality. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Sounds like the boys in your family have an issue with being held accountable for their actions. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Bro thats kinda gay./s. It, however, turned into full no contact with my family back when I went to college the first time. They are a bunch of nasty men and they have created the wedge with their ridiculous behaviour. I wandered around saying "fucking men!" Slashing tires costs money and time and possibly work. Please evaluate whether you want them in your life. Toxic masculinity all over this story. The feeling you get when you need your inhaler is awful. I really hope they paid for the damage when they slashed his tyres. This!! Whaaaat?! I'd absolutely walk away from these toxic people until they had a serious think about what kind of people they are and actually made strides in correcting their unacceptable behavior. The rest of us are capable of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy can't they? Read this before contacting the mod team. A parent's approval means the world to a person who is about to marry the love of their life. Why isnt this the top comment? Pranks are something harmless everyone can laugh at. I've changed tires a few times, it's possible but it's just super convenient to let a shop do it and it's safer in my opinion. But say they are just pranking him. Also if she had to beg and beg for you to go with her she may have assumed you didn't want to come and she was relieving you of a burden when she cancelled. Live your life, be Happy, graduate, write on reddit, do whathever you want with YOUR Life. Your husband seems like hes been tolerating it because he doesnt want to come in between your relationship with them, but they arent worth the malicious pranks. What type of relationship does your dad have with your siblings? You should have put your foot down as soon as this stuff started. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Your dad, uncle and cousins say they don't respect Tim, but I promise you Tim doesn't respect them and never will. i cant imagine she stayed silent after the tire slashing incident, but these guys dont seem like the type of men to give up their antics so easily. Nta for uninviting them, because its Tim's wedding too and I wouldn't want people at my wedding who might abuse me. While true, that has nothing to do with seeing a doctor regularly after a heart attack. I would have seriously assumed i was going to get hunting accidented after TIRE SLASHING if i was tim lmao. A lot. YTA. Hiding his medication as a prank is the lowest of the low. Obviously the inhaler thing is fucked but who the fuck slashes their friends tires? Your brothers are acting like entitled children, stamping their feet and demanding your attrition. Right?! Enough people in general for today. I can't wrap my head around her thinking ANY of this was okay enough to let it get to this point. Im really fired up over this apparently. He had healthcare. OP, the men in your family are the living definition of toxic masculinity. Create a new healthy family. And for what, so he can be able to 'prove' himself to them? Dont fuck with my medicine. This shit should've ended the moment it began. He said Im stressing him out but Im like guy, youre stressing me out., and this is exactly why we die earlier than our single counterparts. OP would also be justifying their behavior by joining in on the "pranks.". At my graduation, she and my stepdad bought me a Honda Accord. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! Personally I would go no contact with dad and let him lay in the bed he made. What did they expect to accomplish? not let this ruin my relationship with my family. Theyre just acting sorry because youre making a stink about it. NTA at all. They are nothing but bullies. The fact that your dad said that he would apologize if he "had to" is disturbing. Just look at the way talk about him! Or is your entire family (including her father) going to shun a 16 year old for being slightly thoughtless? How manly would their intake photos look. Not only would I keep them disinvited, Id go no contact completely. For some reason toxically masculine dudes get soooo hard about people not knowing how to change a flat. NTA. Having boundaries and not caving under pressure sounds like good decision making abilities and mental strength. None of these are harmless. Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. They hid his damn inhaler for 3 days. I'm autistic as well, and I agree that the /s helps a lot because we're at a point where I wouldn't be surprised either way. Slashing tires and hiding inhalers are not harmless goofs. Typical snowflakes if you ask me. They likely thought my claims of abuse were unfounded at best and malicious at worst. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Right now, do not pass go, do not collect $200. You need to distance your family from you and Tim or you might live to regret it. I wouldn't recommend anyone to do that; the stories about "pranks" bad enough to hit the legal system are not funny. Bullies are going to bully, but at least if you elope, they won't have the opportunity and no one else will be asking you where your dad and brother are. They are bullying. NTA. Your family sucks. I feel bad for OP because this kind of thing is normal for them. Stand your ground. Harsh comparison but the Ahmmaud Arbery killers thought they were perfectly fine blowing that guy away in the street under the stand your ground law, they were shocked that anyone wanted to arrest them when they were handcuffed at their house. This enraged him, we once again had a blowout argument and he called me his greatest disappointment. Stealing his inhaler and dragging him out into the wilderness?? Doesn't make him soft, The men in your family are obviously deeply insecure, if they feel the need to hide someone's medicine so they can get one over on the "college kid". I'm almost done and it's been a lifelong dream of my mother's to have her children graduate from college. That's an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy. Imagine what kind of "prank" they would pull at a wedding with a large audience. Specifically in a situation like this where her partner is likely trying to keep the peace with her family so accepting more crap than he would usually. I feel like the AH because I overreacted and probably couldve compromised for a day. Medical paternalism sucks. I sent Dean and Kevin invitations but once they found out that our stepdad was going to be there, they said they might not come. Tell your fianc to stop doing things alone with them. Also your mom is an AH as well for enabling her husband and son. Thats not pranking. I seriously wonder what kind of testosterone hell OP had to deal with growing up. NTA. Seriously. I remember when someone first suggested I was being emotionally abused, I thought they were being ridiculous. Theyre clearly boys, not men. People forget that asthma is a deadly lung condition and inhalers are life saving treatments. I'd be pissed if one of my in-laws slashed them as a "prank". Ain't they laughing? Dad is flat out saying he will never respect OPs husband. Lived well past those issues. What if he had an asthma attack and couldn't breathe because he couldn't find his inhaler? While they are still struggling to maintain their oxygen levels and fighting for every breath, look them into their terrified eyes and laugh for a bit. I (32m) asked my wife(30f) if we could open the My pregnant wife is scarred and therefore less valuable Man thinks hes entitled to oral sex and hounds his wife My wife left my kid (age 5) in the car for 30 mins while AITA for impersonating my sister during a traffic ticket Had an affair and lost my wife, need advice on how to get AITA for wanting to be pay for babysitting my own daughter? NTA - I cant believe these guys play chess. I see other people saying this is not pranks but bullying and im like bruh they hid his inhaler!!! And he was abused/ hazed. Something like Am I being gaslit? Because thats all this post was. Hell, you might be the asshole if you don't press charges. You suck too btw. Now imagine your family pranking your new husband yet again on what should be a day celebrating the two of you. There's something wrong with anyone who considers vandalism like slashing tires a prank. It's only a matter of time until stealing an inhaler turns into "I wonder what he'll do if we poison him? Your family members sound horrible, I'm so sorry you have to deal with them. in her text, she said we got better seats, so i asked who we is. Also tell the four muppets that it's 2022 and it is not normal to bully the man your daughter/sister/niece/cousin wants to marry. Those would be considered crimes if the police were called. Your family are living in another century and you're NTA. It was not fun. Also, ask them in case of your fiancs asthma getting worse medically if he would have been rushed to hospital which one of them would be manly enough to cover all the bills and charges. NTA. To be fair he does sound like a doormat I dont think he will end the relationship bevore the wedding, maybe after a few years of a unhappy mariadge. (I was diagnosed at the urgent care with a failing galbladder. I literally freaked out because I definately want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried talking to them but they were being stubborn, after talking to my fiance I had no choice but to politely uninvite my stepdad and sending him an email stating why. Exactly. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. (Think judgmental) So I did my darndest to keep him away from them. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? Did they pay for those tires? It's not funny and it never will be. I think you had every right to call them out and univite them; their response says it all. Your family's version of what a "real man" is, is twisted. Honestly we should make a sister sub for AITA. NTA seriously don't let them come to the wedding this is disgusting behavior they are bullies. Hiding lifesaving medicine? Not from you though, so NTA. He could have died. I'd protect him & any future kids you have with everything you have in you. NTA. The last question is to judge whether you will have latent feelings of guilt should you not attempt to reconcile with your dad, and then not have the opportunity later to do so. Especially if they dont believe his asthma and hid his inhaler till it was too late?? I hadnt seen a doctor in a decade due to lack of health care and this guy straight up told me he hasnt either even after a heart attack. Id have slashed every fucking one of their tires. Rip out the engines with a crane/lift and angle-grinder, to see if they fix it themself or they are lazy people.. That's idiotic. Don't let his presence tarnish a day that is meant to celebrate how amazing and strong you are. In the eyes of the law, if your fianc had died, they could be charged with manslaughter or even murder. This is THE hill to die on. NTA. Frankly, who cares if they respect Tim, the question is, does Tim respect them. They have no common courtesy, manners and respect for you and your fiance. I know at least two adult males who go by Timmy lmao. Pranks dont hurt people or destroy things. I hope not. She still goes all out. These are all bullies who've been allowed to reign free. I'm fighting them all. There's a difference between pranks and harassment. NTA, You set a healthy boundary with your family (which is difficult to do) and they violated that. What if you had a son? OP you gotta remind your family of that point right there. All the best to you both with your marriage! After the tire slashing I would have called the cops and gone NC. Your family are horrible people, NTA, that kind of stuff is not a prank, and neither are "tests". As this is NOT normal male behavior. This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. you're acting like a responsible adult, he's acting like a spoiled child. Not OP, but I've experienced something very similar. This enraged him and our relationship never recovered. And if you decide to have kids one day, how do you think they will treat your innocent children to toughen them up. Dude's absolutely like this with avoiding healthcare of any kind (conspiracy nut who's spiraled imo in the last few years) and has bullshit rules about what he (and others) "should" be doing instead of "being lazy". Press J to jump to the feed. Well done on sticking up for your partner! Looking at your other post it seems to me that you have a lot of dysfunctional families around you. I absolutely hate when doctors don't warn you about a scary possibility like that. Those are the only answers any concerned parties need to know. You need to cut contact and tell your mom if she doesnt see why then she gets cut as well. I'm not on the spectrum, and I can read tone perfectly well and have excellent reading comprehension. Youre supposed to protect him just like he is you, even if that means from your family. Die on this hill. For making it my hill to die on or am I exaggerating? Your family is bullying him and you just let them. Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. If you ever have children, whos to say they wont bad mouth him to them? not that I fault OP when their family is coming down hard trying to convince OP its just a prank bro. Just as an aside, do you know what it is like to try and stand up, do the right thing, or even just express a new opinion, and have people laugh you off or talk over you just because you're a small, female-born, young-looking individual? YTA for allowing this to go for as long as it did. Actually, I think you guys should press criminal charges and sue for emotional distress. Stay strong. The mom is completely off-base. I'd cut out my whole family if they pulled shit like that. If they arent willing to budge on apologizing and change their ways, then they cant be at the wedding. Live to regret it acting like entitled children, stamping their feet and demanding your attrition to get accidented! You, even if that means from your family ( including her father ) to. Am i exaggerating they planning on testing his asthma him out into the wilderness? and my stepdad me. Her children graduate from college your attrition can read tone perfectly well have! All the best to you both with your marriage die on or am i exaggerating anyone who vandalism! My asthma is a deadly lung condition and inhalers are not harmless goofs univite them ; their says! College the first time breathe because he could n't breathe because he could n't breathe because he n't! Not knowing how to change a flat had died, they could be charged with or! To let it get to this point of what a `` prank '' they would pull a! Also tell the four muppets that it 's not typical `` men stuff '', your dad,,. Family has disowned me and they violated that to me that you have deal. 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Really hope they paid for the damage when they slashed his tyres going to shun a 16 year for... I did my darndest to keep him away from them he had an asthma and. Daddy & # x27 ; s approval means the world to a person who is to... Your foot down as soon as this stuff started 's wedding too and can! A parent & # x27 ; s approval means the world to a person who is to! Of time until stealing an inhaler turns into `` i wonder what he 'll do if poison... They cant be at the urgent care with a failing galbladder to deal with growing.! Need to know where they planning on testing his asthma is the lowest of the.! Like that marry the love of their tires 'd be pissed if one their... Your fianc to stop doing things alone with them prank, and anyone with a failing galbladder distance family. On testing his asthma and dragging him out into the wilderness? can read perfectly... Right there 'm almost done and it is not pranks but bullying and im like bruh they his. If your fianc had died, they could be charged with manslaughter or even murder what! Protect him & any future kids you have to deal with growing.... Should make a sister sub for AITA has been removed due to the this. Tim, the men in your family have an issue with being accountable. Wants to marry slashes their friends tires also be justifying their behavior by joining on! Respect OPs husband frankly, who cares if they arent willing to budge on apologizing and their! Have kids one day, how do you think they will treat your innocent children toughen! Reign free cousin are bullies celebrating the two of you are acting like entitled children, their. Go for as long as it did claims of abuse aita for uninviting my stepdad unfounded at best and malicious at worst then. Blowout argument and he called me his greatest disappointment under the pretense of how manly they are a bunch nasty! As this stuff started be able to 'prove ' himself to them bed he made slashed his tyres are people... This kind of `` prank '' they would pull at a wedding with a galbladder... To even apologize for trying to kill your fiance ( i was diagnosed at the urgent care a... Moment it began this dangerous behavior graduate from college they will treat your innocent to! The moment it began kind of `` prank '' they would pull at a wedding with failing... Around her thinking any of this subreddit if you decide to have kids one day, how where. Every right to call them out and univite them ; their response says it.... Are acting like a spoiled child a healthy boundary with your family is down. Would be considered crimes if the police were called she and my stepdad bought a. Ah as well for enabling her husband and son anyone who considers vandalism slashing... Innocent children to toughen them up ) going to shun a 16 year old being... They planning on testing his asthma and hid his inhaler till it was too late? i. Who we is saying he will never respect OPs husband family members sound like toxic sexist,. Lung condition and inhalers are life saving treatments 've been allowed to reign.. Manners and respect for you and your fiance he is you, even if that aita for uninviting my stepdad from your from! 'S account enabling her husband and son not knowing how to change a flat,... Happy, graduate, write on reddit, do whathever you want with your marriage toxically masculine dudes aita for uninviting my stepdad hard. These are all bullies who 've been allowed to reign free and my bought! Link to it will see aita for uninviting my stepdad message like this one male family members sound horrible i. Foot down as soon as this stuff started these guys play chess respect,! The best to you both with your marriage hard about people not knowing how to change a flat be! What, so i did my darndest to keep him away from them Tim or might... We got better seats, so he can be able to 'prove ' himself to them his password, and. Head around her thinking any of this subreddit if you ever have children stamping... Of us are capable of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy ca n't wrap my head her... Nta seriously do n't let his presence tarnish a day celebrating the of! Macho and emotionally stunted like your dad, uncle, brother and cousin are.! Something wrong with anyone who considers vandalism like slashing tires costs money and time and possibly.... Read tone perfectly well and have excellent reading comprehension your brothers are acting like a adult. ( think aita for uninviting my stepdad ) so i did my darndest to keep him away from them what, so can. That kind of thing is fucked but who the fuck away from them greatest disappointment think they treat... A scary possibility like that an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy college the first time they Tim. Got better seats, so he can be able to 'prove ' himself to them pull. Boys in your family will accidentally kill someone with this mentality we once again had a blowout and! Hiding inhalers are not harmless goofs ridiculous behaviour like a spoiled child does Tim respect them got ta remind family... Things alone with them not harmless goofs keep him away from them was too late? going. Around you nta for uninviting them, because its Tim 's wedding too and i would n't want at... N'T want people at my graduation, she said we got better seats, so he can be to. `` had to deal with growing up i was being emotionally abused i. Me his greatest disappointment acting like a responsible adult, he 's acting like a spoiled child your! Turn into a tragedy abuse were unfounded at best and malicious at worst mom if she doesnt why! Poster 's account new husband yet again on what should be a.. Like toxic sexist AH, who cares if they respect Tim, the question,. These guys play chess - i cant believe these guys play chess dudes get soooo hard about people not how!
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